My Nana

You never really know how you'll react. You play out scenarios in your head, wondering "what-if". But sure as anything, Nana passed away this afternoon of a heart attack. Not sure of all the details, but she's been on morphine for almost a month now. She was a cat with nine lives, and you never really knew when to take her scares seriously, because she came back from so many of them. I mean, between heart attacks, bypass surgery, cancer, getting a knee replaces and dealing with infection, you really never knew. But she finally went today. And while I'm really sad I know that it was a long time coming. But what I have to keep setting my eyes on is a conversation that we had a long time ago, before she had heart surgery. She told me that she wasn't afraid of dying, because she knew that she was going to have another life with a body that functioned better, and that she would be there with everyone that loved her. Most of all though, she would be with her Savior. If ever I envied someone with faith, it was her.

Nana, I love you and I'm going to miss you so much. I'm going to miss being the little girl that went to breakfast every Sunday morning and got my stack of french toast and hot chocolate (with whipped cream of course) and you got your number two, eggs over easy with rye toast and home fries, coffee with cream and Sweet n' Low. I won't forget getting a note wrong in a piano song and hearing your voice yelling from the next room "What's that note again?". Maybe I'll think of more when it doesn't make me bawl. Point is, I love you and I'll miss you, but I WILL see you again. Till then, rest in Jesus.

These are a few of my favorite things...

Right now, at 11:11 PM, on a cool early summer night, these are a few of my favorite things:

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows - my mind was totally blown today. Unlike the anticlimactic ending to 24 tonight, this finale was incredible. I realize that I'm three years behind on this mind blowing, and that it's been a long time coming, but it was worth it.

Now don't roll your eyes as a plunge into something deep about Harry Potter and it's relation to my life, but I'm about to. I started reading the series the summer before my sophomore year of high school. I've just finished my freshman year of college, almost making this a four year deal. And as I look at this group of time, its been a rough four years. The years 14-18 are not pretty, and thats putting it lightly. But there are good things that I can pull out of it, and the fact is, I really didn't want to finish DH. I was tempted to put it off for another week or so. I come to many decisions for what my future is going to bring me, and some seem at hand now. And it's frightening. I can already tell come August I won't want to go back to school, no matter how much fun I will have or how many people I love are there. Something about being home makes me feel like a child again, and while I don't want to be treated as such, there is something comforting about falling back into that position. But I'm not a child anymore, and I can't allow myself to slip there again. I can be a daughter, but not a child.

I always seem to get "Peter Pan Syndrome" this time of year. How odd these feelings are when the opportunity to be a grown up is right around the corner.

But I've gotten away from the point. Deathly Hallows is incredible. For anybody that has read it, The Resurrection Stone, King's Cross, and Colin Creevey particularly reduced me to a pool. I'm up for discussion, if anyone else is. I write this here because if I write anywhere else, I'm rather afraid that I'm going to be condemned to all hell fire...*sigh*

Spring Awakening soundtrack - win. Lea Michel and Jonathan Groff are amazing together.

So whats next on the book list. I'm dragging myself through another Bloody Jack novel (right, because if anything can draw me out of a literary slump, its Jacky NOT getting Jamie in the end...) Ideas?

"He had his mother's eyes." I'm soooooooooooo hung up right now. Seriously...

Help?